


Brother's Keeper

by Destiel_Cockles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A few spoilers if you have not watched ep. 9x17, Anal Sex, Bottom Dean, Bottom Sam, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Feels, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Getting Back Together, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Rimming, Sexual Content, Sibling Love, Top Dean, Top Sam, Weecest, Wincest - Freeform, flash back to preseries (teenage years), flash back to weecest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 08:45:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1381264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel_Cockles/pseuds/Destiel_Cockles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Sam released the souls Abaddon had trapped, memories came flashing back, he remembered a time when he and Dean were together, as teenagers and again a short time after Stanford until Dean went to Hell. It has been five years since they had been together and Sam can't take it anymore. He wants to be with Dean and quit hunting after they kill Abaddon. He decides as soon as he gets back to the bunker to make a move on Dean, but Dean thinks that he ruined Sam's life and does not want to do that anymore.</p><p>My alternate ending to 'Mother's Little Helper'. Flashback scene to when Dean was somewhere around 16 and Sam was about 13. Story but lots of hot Wincest sex. I left the ending so I could add to it and I will as soon as I can. ( I want to end Season 9 my way...with wincest happiness not heartbreaking feels)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brother's Keeper

As Sam released the souls, watching them float out and return to the bodies they belonged to, he started having flashbacks. He thought back to when he had gotten his soul back. The way his emotions turned back on like a switch being flipped, flooding back feelings and emotions, it had been overwhelming. He tried not to think about how empty he had felt when he had been soulless. He knew he had done terrible things, especially to the one person who mattered most to him. 

Deep down he knew that he was being a total prick by being angry with Dean for allowing Gadreel to possess him. He knew now that just as he had not been able to let go of Dean all of those times he had died, that Dean would never be able to let him go either. Sam realized that it was not about being a meat suit for another dick bag angel. He was not really even sure why he had been so angry with Dean anymore, maybe because before all of this started, all of the angels versus demons and the weight of saving the world constantly resting on their shoulders, things had been so different. He was missing that one thing that even a soul could not make up for. The one thing he needed that even his soul knew he had to have. His soul mate.

Sam could not remember how long he had known that he loved his brother more than his sibling. More that a lover, he was meant to be with Dean and after years of fighting to prove that it was not wrong, that just because they were born brothers did not mean that they were not meant to be together. They belonged together, closer to each other than most people would ever get to anyone. They knew each other so well that they did not have to speak to know what the other was thinking. They sacrificed, fought, killed and conquered all to keep each other alive. They had given up everything, even their own lives for the other countless times and when one of them was gone, the pain of the other one not being there was unbearable.

Dean had given up everything he had ever wanted to make sure that his brother was happy and safe, he pretty much raised Sam on his own. As kids they had been dragged around and pretty much abandoned in crappy motels or rental houses for weeks at a time ever since Sam was a toddler. By the time Dean was ten their father stopped leaving them with a babysitter. Dean was responsible for everything, from making sure Sam ate to taking care of him when he was sick. He had always loved his brother, but everyday that love grew. He hated himself for feeling the way he did and tried his best to suppress the feelings.

Sam idolized his brother and loved him more than life itself. He started having feelings that he did not understand at first when he was no more than seven or eight years old. For years he kept it a secret, silently suffering inside because he wanted something so bad, something that he did not understand at that time. But he wanted Dean and it was hard to want something more than anything and not be able to have it.

Sam started noticing things about Dean that had him thinking that he may have felt the same way. Sam hoped and prayed that he did, but he knew Dean would never admit it. Dean never talked about anything like feelings. Sam blamed their dad, who was almost emotionally abusive towards his oldest son, taking out his anger and frustrations on him. Dean never once complained about anything, all he cared about was his brother, he wanted to protect him from feeling the way he did, and he always did his best to treat Sam the opposite of the way his father treated him. To everyone else Dean was a hard ass who never let anything bother him, he rarely showed emotions and he never seemed that happy, unless he was with Sam. When it came to Sam, Dean was a totally different person. He was loving, caring and almost tender. He wanted more than anything to make his brother happy.

Sam would always watch his brother, and the older he got the more he noticed things about him that he knew was inappropriate. He noticed things like how Dean's biceps were now firm and bigger from all of the training his father insisted on him doing. John often took Dean along for easy cases, if there was a vengeful spirit Dean would be the one digging the grave for hours to salt and burn the corpse. Sam also could never look away from Dean's eyes. They were such a deep green, Sam would get lost in them and gradually he started noticing Dean staring back at him. Anytime Sam was sitting on the couch and Dean's leg or arm was touching him he got this funny feeling all over his body. When they shared a bed sometimes Sam would wake up and he would be laying across Dean, and usually Dean would have his arm around him. Those were the mornings he woke up and had to sneak into the bathroom before his brother realized he had gotten a boner from it. He could not help but notice how hot his brother was, his face, his body, his ass, all of it. Sam wanted Dean and not just for physical reasons, but also because of the way Dean treated him like he was the most important thing in the world to him.

Even though they never spoke a word about their attraction to each other, the sexual tension in the air was obvious. Sam knew how Dean thought, and he knew that Dean was probably hating himself for the way he felt, blaming himself for Sam wanting to be with his own brother. He would never allow it because he was worried about Sam, thinking that he had caused Sam to feel this in some way. So rather that talk about it Dean spiraled deeper into depression. Dean always tried to put up a front and act like everything was fine around Sam but Sam could see the pain in his eyes.

Dean tried to distance himself from the feelings by getting drunk and messing around with girls. Dean would start feeling guilty and after Sam went to sleep he would go out and get drunk then hook up with random girls and come home feeling even more miserable. Dean had started drinking heavily by the time he was no more that thirteen. Once Dean was sixteen his facade started cracking. He was never satisfied with any of the girls he was with. He later told Sam that he did it to see if he could ever be with someone else and he proved that he could not (The only thing he ever though about during sex was Sam.)

Sam would catch Dean looking at him all the time, and he wondered if he would finally be able to convince him that this was what they wanted, and that it was ok. When they were doing something that involved being close Sam tried invading Dean's personal space. He managed to always get super close to Dean, when Dean was driving he would sit in the middle seat of the Impala right next to him, in the living room if there were several places to sit he always sat right next to Dean as close and possible and Dean never once complained about it. Every time he managed to brush up against Dean he would freeze, but Sam could tell he wanted him. Sam would feel his heart race, his face flush and most of the time all of his blood went straight to his dick, which always seemed to be hard when Dean was around.

One day they had been wrestling around and Sam some how managed to pin Dean down. As he held Dean down his hard dick brushed Dean's equally hard dick. Sam wanted to lean down and kiss him so bad. He rutted against Dean lightly but Dean stopped him, mumbling that he needed to take a shower and he stayed in there for almost an hour. Sam knew exactly what he was doing in there, the same thing he did every night when he thought Sam was sleeping. Sometimes at night Sam pretended to be asleep because Dean would lay in bed and wait for Sam to fall asleep. As soon as he heard his breathing steady Dean would jerk off. Sam was just barely a teenager and he could not take it anymore, he was horny all the time.

 

Sam thought back to the night it all started. He remembered it vividly and thought about it often. As he stood there unscrewing the jars, memories flooding back to him he remembered the night he finally broke, the night were he could not take it anymore, he could not stand not being able to have Dean. They were staying in a house that John had rented for the entire month. It was summer, so they had nothing to do and their dad was off hunting werewolves two states away. Dean made Sam dinner as usual, then they watched tv for awhile. Dean was laying across the couch with Sam laying next to him, head on his chest. For as long as Sam could remember Dean would let Sam cuddle up next to him anytime they were on the couch, in the car or sometimes when they had to share a bed. Begin able to lay on Dean like that was his favorite thing to do, he loved feeling his body next to him. Dean would put his muscular arm around Sam and hold him close. Sam would inhale his scent, loving how he smelled. Even though it drove him insane with lust, it was also one of the best feelings in the world because his brother was everything to him, his hero, his life, and someday he hoped to be more.

_That night they went to bed as usual, Dean staring at the ceiling and listening for Sam to finally doze off. Sam did his best to try to look like he was sleeping, he had attempted to snore lightly but it sounded too fake. Eventually Sam heard Dean shifting around in his bed, probably slipping his boxers off. At first Sam wasn't sure if he was doing anything, but then he could just barely hear the covers rustling, the sound of Dean's hand running up and down his cock and muffled moans from the other side of the room. Sam wanted nothing more than to get in bed with his brother and do it for him, and now that he was hard from the thought of Dean touching himself he wanted Dean to touch him too._

_Sam didn't think he could get the nerve to do it, but he heard something that gave him the courage. Dean had said his name, almost gasped it. Sam barely managed to hear it because Dean was trying so desperately to be quiet, but it was all it took for Sam to make his move. Any reservations he had melted away with that one word, his name flying out of his brother's mouth while he was touching himself. He was up out of his bed and jumping into Dean's bed in a fraction of a second._

_Dean froze, hand still on his dick. Sam had pulled the covers off of him and was laying next to him. Sam ran his hand down Dean's stomach and put his hand over his brother's._

_Dean's eyes grew huge and he looked at Sam and said, "Sam what the fuck are you doing? Don't-"_

_Sam pressed his lips to Dean's and pushed Dean's hand off of his dick. Sam wrapped his hand around it and started fisting his cock. Dean moaned into Sam's mouth but tried to argue with Sam that this was so wrong and that they should not be doing this, but he was also gasping and moaning Sam's name over and over._

_Sam pulled away from Dean's lips and whispered, "I don't fucking care if it's wrong. I have wanted you for so long I can't stand it anymore. I-"_

_It was Dean's turn to interrupt Sam with a kiss, kissing Sam hard and deep, with all of the want and need that had been built up inside of him for years. Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and pulled him so that he was laying on top of him. Dean ran his hands down Sam's back, sliding his hands inside his boxers and running his hands over his ass. They were grinding their dicks into each other, gasping from the surge of pure pleasure pulsing through their bodies._

_"You sure you want t-" Sam put his lips on Dean's and kissed him hard, wanting him to stop asking him questions, they both knew what the other wanted and Sam was going to get what he wanted no matter how much Dean tried to resist. Sam started bucking his hips and sliding his dick across Dean's. He wanted to take his boxers off but he didn't want to stop, it felt so good. Sam had never had sex, and just touching himself never did much for him, he would only come if he thought about Dean. This is what Sam had wanted to do for years and he was not going to let Dean's conscious get in the way of what he knew they both so desperately wanted._

_Dean ran his hands over Sam's ass and pulled his boxers down, he put his hands on Sam's hips and lifted him up. Sam got the hint and slid his boxers down and kicked them off. As soon as Dean took his hands off of his hips, Sam was back on top of Dean and this time when Dean rolled his hips and slid his dick over Sam's it felt unbelievable. Sam pressed down so that he could get more friction, they both were grinding against each other and attempting to kiss each other. Dean started kissing Sam's neck and ran his hands down his back. Sam moaned as Dean lightly slid his finger over his ass crack._

_"Dean...I want you to..." Sam desperately wanted Dean and he knew Dean was going to try to resist and say that he was too young or that it was wrong. Sam kissed Dean's neck and down his stomach. He knew if he got Dean horny enough he had better chance of getting what he wanted. He pushed Dean's legs apart so that he could kneel between them, he ran his finger along Dean's balls and up his dick. Dean moaned but sat up. He wanted this so bad, but he kept thinking about how wrong it was to take advantage of his little brother. But he was practically begging for it, so why is it wrong when it was what both of them so desperately wanted._

_"Sam...I want to, so bad...but-" Before Dean could argue with Sam, Sam took Dean's entire dick in his mouth. He licked around the shaft and teased his tongue over the tip, dipping his tongue into the slit. Dean laid back, no longer arguing, he was now moaning and running his fingers through Sam's hair. "Shit Sammy.....fuck that feels so damn good."_

_It took every ounce of restraint in Dean not to start bucking his hips, it felt so fucking good, but also so wrong but he didn't give a fuck anymore. Sam had never sucked a dick before (or even had anyone suck his own dick) but Dean later told him that he did it better than any of Dean's past experiences. Dean wanted to fuck his mouth so bad but didn't think Sam could handle deep throating that long, plus he would much rather fuck Sam in the ass, if he was ready for that._

_"Sammy...god you suck dick so good...do you want to..." Dean trailed off not wanting to ask his brother if he wanted to fuck._

_Sam got what Dean was trying to say immediately, after all they knew each other so well they could practically read each other's mind. Sam took Dean's dick in a few more times, slowly taking it all in until he felt it hit the back of his throat. "Sammy...." Dean was writhing around on the bed and pulling on Sam's hair. Sam tasted a salty almost bitter taste, he ran his tongue over the vein the teased the tip of his dick and more pre-come leaked out. He liked how it tasted but knew if he did not stop that Dean was going to come, and he wanted Dean to fuck him._

_Sam crawled up the bed and laid down next to Dean. Dean rolled over so that he was propping himself over Sam. He leaned in and kissed him. Sam looked into Dean's beautiful green eyes and for the first time in a long time Dean smiled, an actual real smile. Dean kissed Sam softly then gradually deepened the kiss until he was kissing him deep and grinding against him hard. Dean ran his hands down Sam's chest and rolled his hard nipple between his fingers. He kissed his neck and pinched the other nipple._

_"Dean...please...oh god...please fuck me.....now Dean I can't..." Sam was gasping, groaning and moaning. Every time Dean touched him it felt like he was burning, his body was tingling, he was hot as hell and his dick ached. He wanted Dean so bad._

_Dean went back up to kiss him, spreading his legs apart and running his finger down his balls and perineum until he got to his tight asshole. He teased his finger over it, trying to gently ease his finger into it. Sam tensed up a little so Dean went down and ran his tongue over his ass, dipping his tongue just barely inside. Sam tried to object to Dean being that close to his ass but as soon as Dean ran his tongue over his rim, teasing it in and out, then he plunged his tongue in Sam could no longer speak. No sound came out of his mouth when he felt like he was going to scream. Dean eased a finger in under his tongue and swirled his tongue over the smooth skin while his finger inched in, looking for Sam's prostate. A few seconds later Sam started spasming on the bed and Dean knew he had found what he was_ _looking for._

_Dean licked deep and swirled his tongue around for a few more seconds then as he pulled it out, he slid a second finger into Sam's hole. Sam was panting and his dick was leaking pre-come all over his stomach. Dean put a third finger in and when he did Sam got his voice back and screamed Dean's name, begging him to fuck him right now._

_Dean had to remember to get some lube, and he wasn't about to leave this to go find some lotion so he spit in his hand until he had enough to lube his dick. He teased the tip of his dick in and out of Sam's hole. Sam whined and pushed his hips down, trying to force Dean in further. "Dean..p-please..."_

_"How bad do you want it Sammy." Dean was barley able to stop himself from ramming his dick into his little brothers ass, and to top it off he was getting off on seeing Sam lay there begging for it._

_"De...please..I want it so bad...more than anything..." Dean slowly slid all the way in, gasping at how tight it was. "So tight...so fucking good Sammy...shit..."  Dean slid almost completely out and then pounded deep and hard into Sam again. They both moaned each other's name and then started humping each other like crazy. Dean put his hands on Sam's hip and as he thrust in he pushed Sam down on him, causing him to plunge as deep as possible into Sam. Dean was rocking his hips as fast and hard as he could._

_He felt Sam's thigh's stiffen and his breathing pick up quick. He angled Sam so that he was pounding down on his prostate, Sam gasped when Dean wrapped his fist around his dick and pumped it while running his thumb over his balls and the sensitive skin underneath. Sam practically screamed something that sounded like a few curse words mixed with Dean's name over and over and moaning. He shot his load all over his chest. Dean ran his finger in it, wiping it all up then licked his fingers clean. "You taste so good Sammy."_

_Dean put one of Sam's legs over his shoulder and plunged deep into Sam, after the next thrust in Dean felt his balls tense up and his stomach tighten. He rocked his hips quickly in and out and came, hot come filling his baby brother's ass. He felt too damn good to feel any guilt._

As Sam drove back to the bunker he thought about all of the times he and Dean were happy, all of them were times they were together. He remembered that after that first night they were inseparable, literally. Anytime their father was gone they spent most of the time inside each other, Dean always trying to find new positions and try new things. When their dad was around it was pure torture. They always managed to find ways to sneak around but it was hard to be around each other and not even be able to touch or even kiss. Sam hated that he went to Stanford, it was the biggest regret of his life. His dad had been dragging them into more and more hunts and they were constantly around him, so there was not much time for Sam and Dean to be together. Sam made the biggest mistake of his life and left. It killed him thinking about it, and what it had probably done to his brother.

Sam had never told anyone the truth about his relationships with women, he loved them but not like he loved Dean. He knew now that they were just a facade, a cover up or something to kid himself into thinking that he did not need his brother mostly something to try to ease the unbearable pain of not being with him. Sam was never truly happy unless he was with Dean and he could never truly love anyone like he loved Dean. The relationship he had with Amelia, and even Jess, although he had loved them like friends, they were something that took his mind off of missing Dean. 

Sam was almost to the bunker when he started remembering the worst times of his life. The absolute worst night was when Dean's deal was up and he went to Hell. Every night since he had found out Dean had made a deal and only had a year they spent it in each other's arms after a long night of having sex. That was the last time they ever did anything. Each time they had been ripped apart had shattered and broken them. They grew more and more distant. Both wishing things could be the same but some how they never went back.

Sam had to try to put the pieces back together, they had done enough. There would always be some evil threat, and there were other hunters. He and Dean had done more than their fair share to save people and the world. As soon as they killed Abaddon this had to end. They deserved to be happy, the needed it. They needed each other.

 

Sam walked into the bunker to find Dean sitting in the same spot he had been when Sam left a few days ago. His heart sank when he saw Dean, for the past five years he had gradually broken down and given up. He was in a worse depression than he had been when he was a teenager.

Dean was drinking whiskey straight out of the bottle, an empty bottle of whiskey and several bottles of beer were sitting next to him. He had files, boxes, and paper scattered everywhere. He looked like he was drunk and had not slept in weeks. Sam was even more determined to make Dean realize that the only way to be happy was to end this and be together.

"Find anything?" Sam asked as he sat at the next table across from Dean.

Dean glanced up and shook his head. "Whole lotta nothin'," Dean slurred and took a drink from his bottle.

Sam sighed. He told Dean what he had learned about Abaddon harvesting the souls and about their grandfather Henry and the Men of Letters working the case.

Sam looked though a pile of folders for several minutes trying to formulate a plan. He figured he would just find something in a file to show Dean and then make his move. Sam picked up a random file that happened to be about spells. He cleared his throat and turned to Dean.

"Get this, um, there are several spells here like the ones that Magnus guy was using," Sam said as he walked over to Dean, tossing the file in front of him and leaning down over the table, inches away from Dean.

Deann scanned the file and shrugged. "So? What's that gotta do with anything?"

Dean looked up at Sam, his green eyes clouded over with pain. Sam missed how they used to sparkle when he was happy. Dean looked at Sam for several minutes and the next thing he knew Sam was leaning in and kissing him. Sam pressed his lips firmly to Dean's, he parted his lips and eventually Dean did the same. He slid his tongue in, Dean was kissing him back. Sam moved closer, he felt Dean brush his hair out of his eyes and heard him moan softly. Sam's tongue traced over every inch of Dean's mouth, he knew it so well and he loved how he tasted, it all came flooding back to him. Sam deepened the kiss, Dean seemed to tense up a little so Sam but his hand on his face, lightly caressing it. Sam cupped his hand over Dean's dick which was starting to get hard. He palmed it and for a minute he felt Dean relax so Sam deepened the kiss even more.

"Dean," Sam moaned.

Suddenly Dean's mind caught up, his eyes flew open and he pulled away.

"Sam..."

He put his head in his hands and propped his elbows on the table.

"We...I.."

Dean didn't know what to say, he had wanted things to be the way they had been when they were teenagers, he had wanted it for years. Even after Sam had hurt him and left for Stanford he had been glad he went back for him, but now he was consumed with guilt and wished he never had, even though they had returned to being together, Dean could not help but think he had ruined Sam's life over and over-the one thing he wanted to protect and he had failed. He wanted Sam more than anything, and he knew Sam felt the same way but he felt that he was toxic and didn't want to bring Sam down anymore.

Dean slid his chair back and got up. Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him close, holding him tight. He held him for several minutes but then Dean tensed up and backed off. "I can't do this to you anymore Sammy. Ever since the first time I did this to you I have done nothing but fuck your life up."

"You didn't do this to me Dean, you're fucking it up more by not letting us be together, I can't not have you, I need you. If you remember correctly I was the one who first did this to you." Sam said as he walked closer to Dean.

"You were a kid Sammy, you didn't know any better, I did and I should never have let any of it happen. No matter how bad I wanted it, I should never have gone for you at Stanford either. I have done nothing but constantly put you in danger and fucked your life up beyond repair and...as much as I want things to be the way they were I can't Sammy I can't fuck it up anymore." Dean turned to walk away but Sam was right behind him.

Sam clasped his hand around Dean's wrist and pulled him so he was pressed against him. Dean looked like he wanted it, he could see the desperation and need in his eyes but he was being his stubborn self and trying to get out of Sam's grasp. Sam wrapped his arms around his brother, clutching him tight. He buried his face in Dean's neck and softly whispered, "I need you De. You never fucked my life up, you are my life and I want to be with you."

He felt Dean's heart racing, Sam pressed his lips to his neck, Dean put his hand on Sam's back and lightly caressed it. Sam moved back enough to look at his brother in the eyes. Dean's eyes started into his, his face softened and he looked down at the ground.

Dean sighed, "I do too, but I...you're my brother, the only thing I care about is what's best for you, no matter what I want, and that's why I can't do this, I care about you too much to-"

"Dean, I can't do this, I can't not be with you it has been pure hell and...please. I'm begging you Dean, just let things be what they used to be. It's the only time either of us have been happy."

Dean scoffed, "You'd be a hell of a lot happier with someone else Sam. Anyone else."

"Dean, you know that is bull. You know neither one of us can be with anyone, we've tried and...I-I can't Dean."

Sam put his hand on the back of Dean's head and pulled him into a long, deep passionate kiss. He felt Dean relax his shoulders a little, so Sam put his hand on the small of his back, he slowly slid it up and wrapped it around Dean's neck. Dean's eyes were closed, he was kissing Sam with more intensity than he had seen him put any energy in anything he had done for a very long time. Sam felt him smooth his fingers through his hair then grab it. Sam ran his hand down Dean's chest, rubbing his thumb over his nipple and Dean put his hand on Sam's hip and drew him closer.

"Dean." Sam whispered, _"Please._ I want you so bad right now. _"_

Dean seemed to snap back to reality, and he pulled away from Sam and walked away muttering that he was tired and wanted to take a shower.

Sam sighed, just like Dean had done before they got together when they were teenagers, things started working out between them and then Dean's conscious would force the guilt down on him and he would storm off and go take a shower to either calm down or jerk off.

 

Dean went into his room and closed the door, locking it then leaning against it. He could not kid himself into thinking that he did not want this. He had always wanted this, even when they were not together or he when he was with someone else, another woman, he was never happy. Sure he could put on a front like he did when he was hunting and pretending to be someone else to get information for the case. He was good at acting, pretending like he loved the Lisa, pretending to have a normal life but inside he was dying. Sam was his life and there was nothing left, he could not life without him anymore. He had never told anyone, but after Sam jumped into the Cage he drove his Impala to the beach that he and Sam went to as kids. He took out his gun and pressed it up to his temple, but when he pulled the trigger his gun jammed.  _His gun_   _never jammed_. He took it as a sign that someday, some how the universe was going to bring Sam back and they would be together. He got Sam back but things went to Hell and here he was, wanting it more than anything but hating himself more than ever that he had fucked up his brother's life.

He had thought about nothing but how much he wanted Sam, how much he loved Sam. Not just for sex, he truly loved Sam and he knew Sam loved him. More than anything he just wanted them to have a normal life and be together. No more demons, no more spending their time saving a world that would never be saved. It would always be something and he was tired of the stress, the constant heartache of ruining their own lives to make everyone else's better. He knew he was being selfish but didn't care. He wanted Sam but didn't think he could stand to feel the guilt of all of the pain he had caused him.

He ripped his shirt off and tossed it in a pile on the floor, he unzipped his jeans and kicked them and his boxers off. He went into his bathroom and turned the shower on. He was so horny after Sam had touched him. It had been a very long time since that had happened, and now all he could think about was how bad he wanted it. Dean only turned the cold water on, if he actually touched himself he would just want it more, it was never good enough unless it was Sam touching him. He had to just let the cold water calm him down and make him forget about the feelings of desperately wanting his brother.

He got in, shivering as the cold water splashed off of him. He took a deep breath and put his hands on the wall, with his head down under the pouring water he let the ice cold water cascade down his body. It started to make his skin almost numb, it was starting to hurt but the pain helped him take his mind off of Sam.

 

Sam knew Dean wanted this, he had not pulled away until he actually started thinking about what was happening, but his body automatically went along with what it wanted, what it was made to do--be with Sam. Sam was not the scrawny little kid that hit on his brother and let him do what he wanted to him. Sam was now taller than Dean, and he was not stronger than Dean, he was pretty equally matched. But there was one more thing that was different, Sam knew how to pick locks now. When he was a kid and Dean ran into the bathroom to take a shower he could not do a damn thing. But now he could easily slip in without Dean noticing.

Sam went to Dean's room and turned the knob to check it, of course it was locked. He listened and could hear the shower running so he figured Dean would not hear him come in. He picked the bedroom door's lock and slipped inside, closing the door behind him. Sam carefully walked to the bathroom door and slid his lock pick into the knob of the bathroom door. His hands were shaking a little but he heard the click and eased the door open.

Dean's bathroom had shower doors but it was not that easy to see through because the glass was frosted. Sam took a deep breath and walked carefully to the shower. He slid the door furthest from the shower head open, hoping he would not get too wet.

"Dean." Sam said softly and Dean jumped a little and turned around. His eyes were red but Sam couldn't tell if it was from the cold water and the fact that he was drunk and had not slept in God knows how long, or if he had been crying and he was shivering uncontrollably.

"S-S-S-Sammm..." he could barley talk because he was so cold.

"Why are you taking a freezing cold shower, this water gets colder than the Arctic." Sam reached in and turned the water off, managing to not get too wet.

Sam slid a towel off of the shelf and grabbed Dean's arm to help him out of the shower. His skin was faintly blue, he was shivering like crazy and his lips were purple. Sam pulled Dean close and wrapped the towel around his back. Dean buried his face into Sam's neck. He was ice cold, and sopping wet. Sam didn't care that he was now also very wet because he was holding Dean so that he was pressed up against him.

"Come on let's get you warm."

Sam thought about trying to carry Dean into the bedroom but knew even that Dean would object and decided against it. Dean was still shaking like a leaf caught in a hurricane. Sam managed to get him into the bedroom and pulled the covers off his bed, he laid Dean down on the bed, taking the damp towel off and wiping the rest of the water off that had not already been dried by Sam's shirt.

Sam kicked off his shoes and laid down next to Dean, pulling the covers over him and hugging him close.

"Y-y-your  s-s-shirt-t-t  is  w-w-wet. C-c-cold." Dean stuttered, still freezing cold. 

Sam smiled a little, "You know they say if you are really cold, that you can be warmed by someone's body heat if you are both naked."

Dean smiled slightly and nodded. Sam took his shirt off and tossed it on the floor, he slid his jeans and boxers off and threw them on top of the shirt.

He laid back with Dean and held him close. They lay there for over an hour, not saying a word. Sam rubbed Dean's back, like Dean always did to him when they were younger, until he was no longer shivering. When Dean finally got the feeling back in this fingers, which had been numb, he massaged Sam's back lightly. Eventually they slowly started to kiss. Starting off with soft gentle kisses and gradually leading up to deep kisses full of lust.

As the kisses got more and more passionate they started running their hands all over each other's bodies. It got hot and heavy extremely fast because it had been almost five years since they had done this, five years of torture of wanting something so bad and not having it, never being satisfied by anyone else but each other.

Sam wanted to slow it down, he wanted to enjoy it and make it perfect, like the first time they had ever done this. Sam gradually slowed it down and Dean got the message to take it slower. The first time Sam topped Dean was after Dean got him from Stanford, before that he felt too inexperienced and almost shy about doing it, afraid that it would never be good enough. Once they stared doing it, they had a routine. Sam would always go first because Dean liked to come last inside of Sam. It never got old or boring, in fact, the more they did it the more they wanted it and the better it felt. They did not have to speak at all to know what the other one wanted, the only words spoken were shouts of pleasure or begging for it to be harder or faster. 

Sam ran his hand down Dean's back. His hands were much bigger than they had been years ago, he could now cup one of Dean's entire ass cheeks in one hand. Sam ran his hand down Dean's muscular thigh and brought it to rest over his hip so he would have better access to Dean's ass.

Sam ran his finger over his hole, gently pushing the tip of his finger just barely inside.

"Probably tight as hell, I would never let anyone else but you fuck me." Dean said quietly while running his fingers through Sam's hair.

Sam smiled and kissed Dean softly on the lips. "I will be too, my ass only belongs to you, always has and always will."

Dean moaned and pulled Sam in for a kiss.

Sam teased his rim and felt Dean tense up. He pulled away from Dean and put his hand under the pillow, Dean had always kept lube under his pillow before, and Sam was pretty sure he would find some. He grinned as his hand ran across the tiny bottle.

"Guess you have been waiting for this, or maybe you just keep it here and finger yourself while you think of me."

Dean smirked, "Just shut up and fuck me already. Been waiting for this for so fucking long. Can't wait to bend you over and fuck you until you're fucking writhing around the bed screaming my name."

Sam smiled and said, "Me too, I missed my cock slut brother."

Dean rolled his eyes, "You're the cock slut, I barley have one finger in you and you are begging for this big dick to be in you. You're the one that used to make us pull over all the time to fuck because you couldn't wait anymore."

Sam pretended to give Dean a bitchface and said, "You're the biggest cock slut, you always make us do it in crazy places. In bars, in the woods, that one time in the movie theater, oh closets at school, don't forget all the times at school."

Dean grinned, "Those were the good old days. I miss that."

Sam saw pain flash in Dean's eyes for a minute. He wanted him to forget about everything so he kissed Dean to try to get him to shut up, normally Dean was the one trying to get Sam to shut up during sex. He did not want Dean to think about anything else, there was no way in hell Sam could stop himself now. He had to have Dean, and he was pretty sure Dean wanted it too bad to stop him again.

Sam squirted some lube on his fingers and went back to teasing Dean's hole, He gradually got two fingers in, Dean was pushing back on them and moaning. He rocked back and forth as Sam pressed down on his prostate, causing Dean to squirm and beg him to put his dick in him.

"Sammy...fuck....I can't... Stop playing around. I want your dick in me...now" Dean gasped as Sam pressed down hard and moved his fingers roughly across.

"Tell me what you are and I will De." Sam almost never talked dirty during sex, but Dean always did. Sam had always had a thing for his brother's deep sexy voice, the way he drawled slightly turned him on, but when they were having sex his voice got even sexier and it drove Sam insane. He did not care what he said, he just wanted to hear him say something.

"I-I'm a slut for you cock.....ok.....shit... fuck me Sammy." Dean moaned as Sam slid a third finger into Dean. Dean pounded down, fucking himself on his brother's fingers.

The noises coming out of Dean's mouth and his voice had Sam's dick twitching like crazy. He couldn't take it anymore so he laid Dean down on his back.

Dean spread his legs open as far as he could while Sam lubed up his dick. When he looked up at Dean he almost came. Seeing Dean ready and begging him for it was almost more than he could take. He had been thinking about this exact moment for so long, fantasizing about it and hoping that by some miracle it would happen again.

Sam bent down to kiss Dean as he teased his dick over his rim. As he was teasing the tip of his dick barley in and out, Dean was pushing down trying to get Sam inside, almost whining because he wanted it so bad. Sam pulled away to kneel between Dean's legs and as they both held their breaths, he slid slowly into Dean until he was balls deep. They both gasped and groaned as he was entering, every inch so tight, making Dean feel so much pressure but it was also the best feeling he had in years. 

The second Sam was all the way in, the wall that had been put up inside of him came crashing down. Sam felt a flood of emotions, all good ones, come rushing back. He felt happy, more than happy. Sam felt alive again, this was where he belonged, this is what he had been missing and so desperately had needed. He was whole again and he was determined to never again lose this piece that had been missing for far to long now that he finally had it back. Sam looked at Dean and could see that the pain in his eyes was melting away, his beautiful green eyes that had been clouded over with pain for so long were sparking again for the first time in years. His eyes were growing more intense and beautiful like Sam had always loved and remembered with each thrust of Sam's cock into him. Every piece that was missing from Sam was right back where it belonged, he felt whole again, better than ever. Dean was the one thing he needed and the one and only thing that mattered most.

Dean felt something in him change too. He had been so depressed and ready to give up. When Sam kissed him earlier he felt a tiny spark of something inside of him. With each touch from Sam the spark grew hotter and bigger. When Sam pulled him out of the shower and laid down with him he started feeling the fire grow more and more, and when Sam entered him he felt like it had burst into flames. He needed Sam, not just having him around, he needed him just like this. The piece of him he never could lose or be without.

When Dean was in control he preferred sex hard and fast most of the time, Sam usually was the one who liked it slow and sensual. Sam was slowly sliding out of Dean and then thrusting back in slowly. It was driving Dean crazy, he wanted it so bad, Sam was caressing every inch of Dean's body but purposely avoiding his dick. He would run his fingers so close then ease them away, never touching it. Dean was panting, trying to push into Sam's thrusts to get more, but then Sam put his hands firmly on Dean's hips. Dean whined and tried to wiggle out of Sam's grasp but he had drank too much earlier and was still feeling the effects of the alcohol. Dean was never easily overpowered by his brother, but he was so drunk that he couldn't do anything to force Sam into him faster or deeper.

"Sammy...pleaaasee." Dean moaned.

Sam bent down to kiss him and sucked lightly on his neck. He tweaked his nipples until they were hard. He knew all of Dean's kinks and he was using as many as he could to drive him insane. He sucked a hickey where his neck met his shoulder and Dean was begging him to fuck him harder. Sam ran his hands down Dean's side and raked his fingers over his inner thigh. He lightly rolled his balls in his hand and Dean started moaning and desperately trying to thrust up and rub his aching dick over Sam's abdomen. Sam got back up on his knees and grinned down at Dean.

"Not yet...gotta wait 'til you can't take it anymore."

"Fuck Sammy I can't....I-I can't take it anymore please."

Sam ran a finger down Dean's balls and over his perineum, teasing it with his finger but not going anywhere neat his dick as he was thrusting slowly in and out of Dean. Sweat was pouring off of Dean's forehead and he was red, gasping to breathe and a steady stream of curse words out of his mouth each time Sam touched him. Sam pulled his dick completely out of Dean for a few seconds and Dean whined and pushed his hips down trying to find Sam.

Dean's hand inched down to touch his dick, desperate for some stimulation because he was aching for it, but Sam batted it away. He put Dean's hands up over his head and held his wrists down.

"I want you to promise me something, and if you do I will give it to you hard."

Sam knew it was wrong to tease Dean to get him to agree to something, Dean used to always tease him until he was begging and it was torture, but it was the only way to get Dean to listen to him right now.

Dean licked his lips and nodded, he would probably have agreed to anything for it right now. "Promise me you will stop this...whatever you want to call your little depression thing. Forgive me for being mad, forget about it and..."

"Jesus Sammy do we have to talk about this right now? I'm so fucking horny I am about to fucking explode." Dean was squirming underneath him.

"I just want all of the bullshit to be over and go back to how things used to be." Sam teased his dick around Dean's rim, causing him to whimper.

"Fuck Sam, yes I want that too but do you have to torture me like this? We can talk about this later and-" Sam stopped him with a kiss, knowing Dean was sincere, they could talk about it later.

Sam slid back into Dean and started pounding in harder. When he brushed Dean's prostate Dean started going crazy, thrusting his hips down onto Sam. Sam grabbed his dick and Dean moaned loud, "Fuck Sammy oh god...so good...harder Sammy."

Sam got a steady motion going in faster and harder while stroking Dean's dick in the same motion. It didn't take very long, Dean had been aching for Sam to touch him and he came a few seconds later. Dean clenched around Sam causing him to come right along with him. Dean usually tried to hold back, even if he had to force himself not to come because he liked Sam to come first then come in him while he was bending Sam over, but he knew he could get hard again and finish it.

Sam pushed in and back out a few more times before sliding out of Dean. They were both panting and gasping from the best orgasm they had in a long time. Sam licked Dean's come off of his chest, getting a soft moan out of Dean as Dean ran his fingers through Sam's hair. Sam climbed up next to Dean and kissed him softly on the lips. They kissed for several minutes before Sam went down and started sucking on Dean's dick, knowing that Dean would want to finish the right way.

Sam only had to deep throat Dean a few time before he was rock hard again. Dean pulled Sam up and kissed him. Then he got up and stood at the side of the bed. Sam looked at him suspiciously, normally Dean just had him bend over on the bed.

Dean was grinning and said, "Come here you little cock slut, I'm gonna plunge into you so deep you will never walk the same again."

Sam fought the urge to roll his eyes and slid to the end of the bed. He sat on the edge and pulled Dean into a long passionate kiss. "Anything you want De, I just want it all the time."

Dean moaned into Sam's mouth and said, "Then that's what you'll get Sammy. I want that too."

Sam ran his hand down Dean's back and grabbed his ass, pulling him closer. Dean kissed Sam's neck and stoked his dick a few times until he was hard. Dean flipped Sam over and pulled his hips up so that his ass was in the air. Dean ran his hand over Sam's ass.

"Shit Sammy...so hot...god I wanted this for so fucking long."

Dean spread Sam open and ran his tongue over his hole. Sam gasped and grabbed the blanket with a fist as Dean plunged his tongue deep into his ass. Dean twirled and twisted his tongue around Sam's ass. He loved the hot, silky feeling against his tongue. Dean slid his index finger in under his tongue and pressed down firmly onto Sam's prostate. Sam was babbling unintelligible words over and over gasping and moaning. After a few minutes Dean stood back up and slid a second finger in while he leaned over Sam's back and trailed kisses down his spine.

Sam felt so tight and Dean could hardly wait to be inside of him, Sam was rocking back on his fingers so he inserted a third finger. "You want my big cock Sammy? Tell me what you want."

"Yes...god yes" Sam was having a hard time speaking because Dean was steadily pounding his fingers over his prostate.

"What was that Sammy? I didn't hear what you want."

"Y-your big cock in me...I want you to fuck me De...hard...now." Sam gasped when Dean teased his pinky finger over his rim then pulled his fingers out.

Dean rubbed the head of his dick over Sam's rim. "This what you want? I wanna hear how you want it Sammy tell me you're a slut for this big dick."

"Dean...god I want it...I-I'm a slut for your big dick and I want it hard, really fucking hard." Sam panted, pushing his ass back to try to get Dean's dick into him.

Dean just barely stuck the tip of his dick in Sam. He circled around Sam's hole then pulled out. Sam whined, "Please..Dean...I can't..."

Dean held his breath, he didn't have time to tease Sam like he wanted to for teasing and torturing him so he quickly rammed his dick all the way into his brother's ass. They both let out a loud moan as Dean plunged in deep.

"Shit Sammy, so fucking good..so fucking tight oh my god.."

Dean slowly pulled back out and repeated the same motion a few times before putting one leg on the edge of the bed and spreading Sam's cheeks apart. He rocked in and out as hard as he could and watched his dick plunge deep into his brother. Each time he was all the way in he would dip down and let their balls rub against each other.

Dean pushed Sam's back gently so his ass was higher in the air. Sam was much sturdier than he had been before and Dean wanted to finally pound into him like he had always wanted to.

"This isn't working," Dean said as he pulled Sam toward the end of the bed. "Stand up, bend over the bed and spread 'em. Need to go in deeper"

Before Sam could respond Dean was pulling his legs off of the bed and pushing Sam's back down. He pushed his legs further apart with his knee and leaned Sam down over the bed.

"Perfect." Dean said, a large grin plastered across his face.

This time when he plunged in he sort of jumped up and landed hard into Sam. They both were gasping and moaning as Dean repeatedly plunged hard and deep into Sam. After the third time it was feeling so good that Dean was having trouble functioning. His vision was hazy, he was so hot he felt like he was going to burst into flames, the pleasure coursing through his entire body had his legs feeling wobbly. He thrust in Sam as hard as he could, Sam gasping and Dean could tell he was about to come, he always could tell when Sam was going to come because he made that noise, the noise that made Dean almost bust a nut, then Sam would start moving like crazy, writhing around and spasming. Dean sped up his motion, going in and out as fast as he could. As Sam came and his ass clenched down on Dean's dick it felt like adrenaline was pumping through Dean's entire body. He suddenly had control again and he pounded into Sam harder than he ever had before.

They were both gasping for air, if it hadn't felt so good they would probably be screaming but the pure pleasure, a blissful ecstasy took over everything and they could not speak or even move. Dean was balls deep in Sam, he just barley pulled out and went in deep, shooting his load into Sam's ass. Dean collapsed over Sam's back not able to move. 

They lay there a tangled mess half off of the bed for several minutes. Dean tried standing but his legs were shaking so bad he fell back on the bed, using every ounce of strength he had to land next to Sam rather than on him. Sam looked at him, eyes so black they were almost demonic, his pupils so sex blown that there was no trace of color at all. Dean's eyes were exactly the same, but somehow they were still shining, like Sam had not seen in a very long time.

"Still want nothing to do with me?" Sam asked, still breathing heavily.

Dean took a sharp breath in and said, "Never said I wanted nothing to do with you...just don't think it is best for you to be with me."

Dean laid his head back, he wanted so bad to have this all the time, and not worry about anything else.

"Damn it Dean stop being so fucking stubborn. You cannot say that you can live with out this....especially now. I sure in the hell can't. You're not just gonna give me the best orgasm I've ever fucking had and try saying that we-"

Dean sat up and pressed his lips to Sam's. He ran his hands through his hair and pulled him closer.

"I said I don't think it's best. But when do I ever do anything that's right? I can't take the thought that I ruined you, but the thought of not having this ruins me. I have to have this."

Dean kissed Sam again, pulling him up with him to the top of the bed.

They lay there in silence for awhile. Sam was pretty sure he had convinced Dean to give in.

"So does this mean...?"

Sam trailed off and looked at Dean. He sat up and looked him in the eyes, trailing his finger over his chest the way he knew drove Dean crazy.

"Sammy..." Dean sighed, as much as he fought with himself over what would be best for Sam, he was starting to realize that maybe Sam was right. Maybe this was the one thing that would actually make both of their lives better, it certainly felt like it. "The only time I'm happy is with you, the only thing I want in life is to be with you, and if you feel the same way..."

Sam leaned forward and kissed Dean softly on the lips. "You know damn well I feel the same way. I know you won't come out and say exactly how you feel, and that what you just said took a lot. I want this more than anything and I wish you would stop thinking you ruined my life because you have always been the one thing that made my life good."

Although they always wanted to be together, they almost never talked about it. Dean didn't like that warm fuzzy girly talk. Sam wanted to tell Dean he loved him, they had never said it to each other, they both knew what the other felt, and he knew if he did Dean would probably think he was being a total girl.

Dean ran his finger down Sam's face and titled his chin up, as he went into kiss him he whispered, "I love you Sammy."

Sam felt his heart swell and start beating like crazy. He kissed Dean back, holding the back of his head and darting his tongue wildly around his mouth. After several minutes he pulled away, both of them panting. "I love you too De."

 

The next morning, waking up after spending the night wrapped in each other's arms, and of course after having hot morning sex, they went to the kitchen to have breakfast. Sam was making coffee and Dean was sitting at the table stuffing donuts into his mouth. They heard a woosh of air and Castiel appeared. 

"Hello Dean. Sam." Cas nodded at the boys.

Before he spoke he squinted his eyes at the two brothers. Something seemed different. Dean was not scowling, he actually looked almost happy. Sam was happily humming while pouring two cups of coffee.

Cas cleared his throat, "Listen, I have come because I need to talk to you both. There is something you need to know, and it is going to change everything."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it! I want to add more & will post the rest soon


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